Friday, October 3, 2008

Bailout Plan

Dear 25 Senators and 171 Representatives who voted against The Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008,

First off you are stupid. Secondly, I take offense to those of you who say this bill moves the United States closer to becoming a socialist nation. When you make this statement you completely ignore the bill’s underlying purpose and instead use it as an opportunity to spread fear and paranoia in the hopes that it will help further your own political gain. For this blatant misuse of your vote, shame on you. The purpose of this bill is simple: to stabilize our nation’s banking industry and unfreeze the credit markets in an effort to stave off an economic depression. It’s not a perfect plan and perhaps it does give the government too much control over a large chunk of tax payer’s money. But desperate times call for desperate measures and what better alternatives were there? Instead of blindly criticizing the plan in an effort to gain reelection by your constituents, why not do something constructive like offering up a better alternative? What, you don’t have one? That’s convenient. And just in case you’re interested I’ve put together a brief summary of what socialism really means so that you don’t sound so ignorant in the future.

Definition: Socialism refers to a broad set of economic theories of social organization advocating state or collective ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods, and the creation of an egalitarian society. Modern socialism originated in the late nineteenth-century working class political movement. Karl Marx posited that socialism would be achieved via class struggle and a proletarian revolution, it being the transitional stage between capitalism and communism.

Modern socialism: In some Latin American countries, socialism has re-emerged in recent years, with an anti-imperialist stance, the rejection of the policies of neo-liberalism and the nationalization or part nationalization of oil production, land and other assets. Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, for instance, refers to his own political program as socialist. Chavez has coined the term "21st century socialism”. After winning re-election in December 2006, President Chavez said, "Now more than ever, I am obliged to move Venezuela's path towards socialism.” He went on to say: “Those who want to go directly to hell, they can follow capitalism. And those of us who want to build heaven here on earth, we will follow socialism.” What a nut job. Aren’t you glad you don’t live in Venezuela? In addition to being one crazy mother fxxxer, the US government also believes that Chavez is a serious threat to democracy in Latin America (can you say Bay of Pigs?). His opponents see him as an authoritarian or a totalitarian communist, militarist and demagogue who has failed to deliver on his promises, violated fundamental rights, meddled in the affairs of other Latin American countries, threatened Venezuela's economy and democracy, illegally silenced opponents, and destabilized global oil prices. Other than that he’s a super terrific guy.

The day that Hugo Chavez has his own parking space at the White House I might start to worry. Until that day occurs the notion of socialism in America is absolutely absurd. Please remember that you were elected to act in the best interests of your country, not in the best interests of yourself. I can already hear your rebuttal: the polls showed little support among the public for bailing out Wall Street investment banks, and voting against the will of your constituents is simply not democratic. To this I respond that most of your constituents are dumber than you, and part of your job as an elected official is to save the public from themselves. Wait, that sounds kind of socialistic… whatever it’s my blog and I can write whatever the hell I want to.

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