Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Please fire Tony Kornheiser



When Monday Night Football moved from ABC to ESPN in 2006, somebody had the brain child to bring on Tony Kornheiser as the color analyst. In my opinion Monday Night Football hasn't been the same since. Not only is Kornheiser goofy looking and uninspired, but he lacks football knowledge to the point where he makes Dennis Miller look like Knute Rockne. At the start of last night's broadcast he actually said that Eli Manning is a better quarterback than big brother, Peyton Manning. Are you fucking kidding me? Peyton Manning has 43,000 passing yards, 314 touchdown passes (with 158 INT's), and a career passer rating of 94.5. Eli Manning has 12,600 passing yards, 84 touchdown passes (with 68 INT's), and a career passer rating of 74.8. Peyton's career winning percentage is .644. Eli's career winning percentage is .557. Peyton is composed, polished, full of leadership, and a virtual lock for the Hall of Fame. Eli is a whiney, little bitch, who always looks like he's on the verge of tears during press conferences. The guy has 4 good games (including the Superbowl) and Kornheiser makes the proclamation that he's a better quarterback than big brother Peyton. Eli then proceeded to throw 3 horrible interceptions as his heavily favored Giants got embarrassed by the Browns on national television. Nice call Kornheiser, you douchebag. Would somebody please fire this guy? I'm tired of watching Monday Night Football with the volume turned off, and I'm tired of looking at Kornheiser's ugly mug. Can you believe they're actually paying him $1.8 million a year for the mindless drivel that spills out of his mouth? Talk about a waste of money. You could pair Mike Tirico and Joe Theismann up with a chimp and get better insight than what Kornheiser has to offer. I've heard he's a good columnist and writer (although I can't bring myself to read any of his work), but he's a horrible football analyst. I never thought it would be possible to actually miss the Monday Night Football broadcasts with Dennis Miller. In writing this post I googled Tony Kornheiser and found out something very interesting about him - he doesn't take criticism well at all:

* Stephen Rodrick wrote for Slate that Tony Kornheiser was allowed by ESPN to argue aimlessly on television and that his Washington Post column was being used to plug side projects rather than gather news from cited sources. Kornheiser called on Slate, then owned by The Washington Post, to fire Rodrick.

* After Kornheiser's first game on Monday Night Football, Paul Farhi wrote in The Washington Post that Kornheiser had emphasized the obvious, played third fiddle, and was reminiscent of Dennis Miller "in a bad way." Kornheiser responded saying that Farhi was a "two-bit weasel slug".

* Mike Golic, an ESPN colleague of Kornheiser's, who had expressed skepticism regarding his prospects as an on-air analyst because he was never an athlete, said that his performance on MNF was "fine." Kornheiser's response was, "I just want to wring Golic's neck and hang him up over the back of a shower rod like a duck."

Perhaps Kornheiser is so defensive because deep down he knows that he has no business getting paid to talk about football on television. Let's hope the higher-ups at ESPN figure this out sooner rather than later.

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