Thursday, October 2, 2008

Thank You Al Davis

Thank you Al Davis. Thank you for doing such a commendable job in continuing to drive your franchise into the ground. Thanks to your extraordinary efforts my San Diego Chargers now enter every new season with two guaranteed victories, which says a lot in this era of parity. How bad are your Oakland Raiders? Since your Superbowl season of 2002 your Raiders have a cumulative record of 20-64, which is the worst record of any NFL team over that span. That's right, the worst. You've also lost to my San Diego Chargers 10 straight times dating back to 2003, by an average margin of defeat of 15 points. We might as well start spotting you two touchdowns just to make things interesting. Your once proud franchise is now a complete joke. I'm sure it wasn't easy becoming the worst, but you need to take credit for all of your hard work. During your bizarre news conference a couple days ago when you announced the firing of Lane Kiffin, you made a valiant attempt to give other people credit for the complete ineptitude of your team. But I'm not buying it Al, so don't be so modest. Everyone knows that it's you alone behind the curtain pulling all the levers and pressing all the buttons. Your dysfunctional dictatorship might have worked back in the 60's and 70's when your football knowledge was still relevant (hell you even got lucky a couple times in the 80's), but it's 2008 now Al and your abilities to run a professional football franchise are about as attractive as your dried up, reptilian appearance. The funny thing is your Raiders were a much improved team under Lane Kiffin. They were actually starting to look like a team who could possibly win more than 4 games in a season. Thank goodness you sensed Kiffin's competence as a coach and promptly let him go. Now you can start over from scratch with a new coaching staff, a new system, and hopefully some new failed draft picks. Firing Kiffin probably set your franchise back at least a couple of years which will ensure at least a couple more seasons of failure. Well done Al. Please stay strong in your resolve to never change and please continue to make decisions without consulting people in the know. Trust me, the "experts" who criticize you on talk shows and in the papers don't know what they're talking about. Although when I was listening to your rambling press conference I actually began to feel sorry for you. You sounded not unlike the confused, old guy at the rest home who forgets where he puts his stuff then complains about the staff stealing his socks. No, I'm sure it was all part of your master plan. You're trying to get people to under estimate you which will give you the upper hand - sneaky old devil. I hope you live for another 20 years Al. If you ever need a blood donation to stay alive I will be the first in line with the rest of the Charger fans. Stay golden Al, or more appropriately stay silver & black.

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