Friday, November 14, 2008

Well done Nebraska

Safe haven laws were created to allow distraught parents, who fear their children are in imminent danger, to drop them off at hospitals without being charged with abandonment. Safe haven laws exist with the intent to protect INFANTS. Nebraska was the only state in the country without such a law in existence... until recently. The only problem is that when Nebraska passed their safe haven law in July, 2008, they forgot to include an age limit (oops). All 49 other states have age limits written into their safe haven laws ranging from 72 hours up to 1 year in North Dakota, but Nebraska apparently overlooked this small, but very important detail. Way to go Nebraska - leave it to you to fxxk up a simple law you should have passed years ago. Jesus - it's not like you didn't have 49 other examples you couldn't have just cut and pasted into your own law. But no, you had to go out and reinvent the wheel, and when you did you left out the most important part. So now stupid, irresponsible parents from all over the country are using your fxxk-up as an excuse to dump their unwanted teens. Since Nebraska passed their safe haven law in July of this year 34 children have been dropped off at Nebraska hospitals. Of the 34 children dropped off none have been infants; 28 have been older than 10. Five of the abandoned children were brought into Nebraska from out of state. Deadbeat parents have traveled in from Michigan, Indiana, Iowa, Florida, and Georgia.

"Please don't bring your teenager to Nebraska," Governor Dave Heineman told CNN. "Think of what you are saying. You are saying you no longer support them. You no longer love them."

Tysheema Brown drove from Georgia to leave her teenage son at an Omaha hospital. "Do not judge me as a parent. I love my son and my son knows that," Brown said. "There is just no help. There hasn't been any help."

Thank God I don't have to live in Nebraska or Georgia, or in any other red state for that matter.

State officials in Nebraska are scrambling to fix the problem. But because of legislative procedures it will take at least a week to change the language of the safe haven law, creating a window where more parents could try to take advantage of the loophole in the statute. "We are ready and prepared if that situation occurs," said Todd Landry of the Nebraska Department of Health and Human Services. "We want people to understand that this is not the right way of getting the service for your child, your teenager or your family."

State Senator Tom White said lawmakers have been caught off-guard by the number of teenagers taken in under the law. Clearly Sen. White, you haven't spent enough time in middle America.

I'm not sure what's more surprising here. The fact that Nebraska state officials were stupid enough to create this loophole, or the fact that loser, deadbeat parents from across the country were actually smart enough to discover the loophole and then take advantage of it accordingly. I guess this proves if there's a way to cheat the system and shirk your responsibilities, the lowlifes of America will find it. Perhaps if Nebraska wants to avoid a rush on parents abandoning their teens before the law is revised, they should spend the next week passing out free moonshine to all residents and visitors crossing the state line. This way by the time all the freeloading scumbags sober up and shake off their hangovers, the law will be changed and they'll be stuck with their mutant offspring, the way God intended it to be.

God bless America. Wow.

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