Friday, January 16, 2009

Bad "Boy George"

George O’Dowd, the sexually confused and frequently misguided former singer, current DJ, and legendary front-(man?) of 80’s band Culture Club, has been sentenced to fifteen months in jail following a conviction for false imprisonment. Here’s how it all went down: O’Dowd meets 28-year-old Norwegian male prostitute Audun Carlsen through a gay social-networking site. (O’Dowd may very well have used the same site back in the 80’s to locate his band mates for Culture Club) They meet up at O’Dowd's London flat and have a pornographic photo shoot. (If I end up in hell after I die there’s no doubt in my mind the photos from this shoot will be permanently pasted on the walls of my cell) After Carlsen leaves, O’Dowd suspects him of stealing stuff off his laptop so he invites Carlsen over for a second visit. (He had so much fun getting rammed in the ass on the first visit he just couldn’t say no) When Carlsen arrives George handcuffs him to the wall and proceeds to beat him with a metal chain. (This is the part where Carlsen regrets dropping out of beauty school). Carlsen escapes from O’Dowd's flat wearing only boxers, shoes and the handcuffs. (O’Dowd’s neighbors were apparently so accustomed to seeing horrified, half-naked prostitutes run out of his flat that none of them bothered to notify authorities)

Throughout the seven-day trial O’Dowd maintained his innocence but the jury found him unanimously guilty. Supporters of O’Dowd insist that he is a kind-hearted gentleman who is "the antithesis of the haughty, bullying star." Judge David Radford disagreed: "[Carlsen] was deprived of his liberty and human dignity without warning or proper explanation to him of its purpose, length or purported justification." Passing sentence, the judge went on to say “[Carlsen] was left shocked, degraded and humiliated" by this ordeal. (As if being a Norwegian male prostitute isn’t degrading or humiliating enough)

Not surprisingly this isn’t O’Dowd’s first trouble with the law. He has a severe drug addiction and in July 1986, was arrested for heroin possession. In October 2005, O’Dowd was arrested in Manhattan on suspicion of possessing cocaine. In June 2006, a warrant was issued for his arrest for failing to appear in court. In August 2006, O’Dowd was assigned to five days of garbage duty on the streets of New York City by a Manhattan court for "wasting police time", after he admitted to falsely reporting a burglary in his Manhattan apartment. (Are you sensing a pattern here? This dude’s fucked up)

The current jail sentence couldn’t have come at a worse time for O’Dowd, who just last year was attempting to revive his singing career, releasing a single called "Yes we can," inspired by Barack Obama and featuring clips of the U.S. president-elect. I guess the lesson to be learned here is this. Can you chain a Norwegian male prostitute to your wall, beat him with a metal chain, and expect to avoid jail time? “No you can’t”. Yo freak show - enjoy your next fifteen months in the pokey (no pun intended). You just can't make this shit up.

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