Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Ode to 2008

As we enter a new year with new possibilities and opportunities I couldn't help but reflect upon the previous year that was. It wasn't a great year, or even a good one. But it certainly had it's moments. What follows is my "Ode to 2008". Enjoy and Happy New Year!

Ode to 2008

2008 is over and the end couldn’t come soon enough,
The subprime bubble burst, what followed would be rough.

Wall Street melted down and credit tightened up,
The economic climate was a total cluster fuck.

Goldman Sachs got bought, Lehman Brothers went BK,
The government seized control of Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae.

The global financial crisis soon reached a fever pitch,
Bernie Madoff used a Ponzi scheme to scam the filthy rich.

Congress then approved the Emergency Stabilization Act,
$700 billion without limits? Even Madoff thinks that’s wack.

The price of oil surged then tanked, now Exxon’s out of luck,
A dude gave birth to a baby, what the fuck?

The auto makers had a meltdown of their own,
Now it takes an act of God to get an auto loan.

In the city of Mumbai, India, terrorists did attack,
Then dumb shit Bush decided to send more troops into Iraq.

Afghanistan witnessed a resurgence of the Taliban,
An earthquake struck in China in the province of Sichuan.

Israel attacked Gaza in a fight as old as time,
The Dodgers acquired Man Ram and didn’t spend a dime.

The FBI and CIA continued to hunt for Bin Laden,
The Cubs went to the playoffs then promptly choked… again.

A cyclone killed 22,000 in the country of Myanmar,
Plaxico Burress accidentally shot himself in a crowded New York bar.

A wacko polygamy sect had a run-in with the law,
The bust took place in Texas, but they surely from Utah.

Off the coast of Somalia pirates hijacked cargo ships,
Eliot Spitzer banged a prostitute but never kissed her on the lips (allegedly).

Yes 2008 was bad up to the final bell,
But it had some outstanding moments and some funny ones as well.

China hosted the Olympics and put on quite a show,
Michael Phelps won 8 gold medals, Lindsey Lohan did more blow.

The Celtics won a title, John Edwards had a fling,
Britney made a comeback, who knew that bitch could sing?

Blagojevich got busted and Senator Stevens too,
The Phillies won the series, the Patriots saw blue.

Tiger won the Open despite one torn up knee,
OJ’s going back to jail, how stupid could this dude be?

Brett Favre unretired and Lance Armstrong came back too,
Watch out you smelly Frenchies, he’s coming after you.

Jessica Alba had a baby, Brangelina delivered twins,
Roger Clemens showed us that a cheater never wins.

Castro finally retired, Kosovo dawned a new day,
We were introduced to Sarah Palin, I wish she’d go away.

Hillary Clinton ran for president and campaigned everywhere
But Obama was the winner, we really dodged a bullet there.

What 2009 has in store is anyone’s guess,
But I’m glad 08 is over, what a complete fucking mess.

No comments: