Monday, September 14, 2009

Letter to Kanye West

Dear Kanye,

Well done. Last night at MTV’s Video Music Awards 17-year-old country sensation Taylor Swift won the award for Best Female Video of the Year for “You Belong To Me,” but didn’t get the chance to finish her acceptance speech thanks to you, who took the stage to interrupt her.

“Thank you so much! I always dreamed about what it would be like to maybe win one of these someday but I never actually thought it would happen,” Swift said as she accepted the award, choking up. “I sing country music so thank you so much for giving me the chance to win a VMA award.”

But before she could continue you took the stage to praise one of her competitors, Beyonce, who was nominated for “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It).”

“Yo Taylor, I’m really happy for you, I’m [going to] let you finish — but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time,” you said, earning the boos of the crowd as Beyonce looked on shocked in the audience.

You were reportedly kicked out of the ceremony shortly thereafter.

Sadly this behavior is nothing new for you, is it Kanye?

In November, 2004, at the American Music Awards, you lost as best new artist to country star Gretchen Wilson – and stormed out of the show. "I was definitely robbed," you later told the Associated Press. "I was the best new artist this year."

Yeah man – fuck those guys – they wouldn’t know true talent if it hit em square in the face.

In September, 2005, at what was supposed to be a Red Cross fund-raising drive for victims of Hurricane Katrina, you delivered a minute-long televised rant criticizing the government's response to the disaster: "George Bush doesn't care about black people," you said. Your comments aired live on NBC on the East Coast and, although they were edited from the West Coast version, the clip went viral. The following week, you were unapologetic. "People have lost their lives, lost their families,” you said. "It's the least I could do to go up there and say something from my heart."

Hell yeah brutha – gotta represent for your peeps – I'm feelin you man.

In November, 2006, after picking up the best hip-hop artist award at the MTV Europe Music Awards, you lost best video to French duo Justice vs. Simian. Outraged, you crashed the stage and interrupted their acceptance speech with a profanity-laced rant: "If I don't win," you said, "the award show loses credibility."

Yup – fuck those Euros – what the hell do they know, anyway?

In September, 2007, at the VMA’s, despite five nominations, you failed to win a single trophy - your second straight year going home empty-handed. In reaction you threw a tantrum backstage. "Give a black man a chance," you yelled. "That's two years in a row!" You then declared that you would never come back to an MTV award show.

The institution’s been tryin to hold down the black man for years – bout time somebody took a stand.

Unfortunately you didn’t stick to your declaration and last night you created a highly uncomfortable situation for young Taylor Swift, while making a huge ass out of yourself in the process. The saddest thing about this latest display, Kanye, is that you probably don't think you did anything wrong. In your twisted mind, you probably figure Beyonce lost the award to Taylor Swift because she’s black and Taylor Swift is white, so therefore your actions were completely justified. Sound about right?

Memo to Kanye West: Dude, the race card is a tired act. You don’t get passed over for awards and ridiculed on shows like South Park and Saturday Night Live because you’re black. No, it happens because you’re an asshole. It’s not all about you, Kanye. As difficult as it is for your tiny mind to comprehend there are actually other talented musicians out there, some who are even more talented than you and the musicians you choose to admire. So stop acting like a spoiled, whiney little bitch every time things don’t go your way, and start acting like a person who deserves the respect of the public. Until then piss off dude. Seriously.


The Quinsey Blog

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Resident Scumbag Mike Duvall Caught With Pants Down

Will the biggest idiot in the room please stand up? That’s right ladies and gentlemen - it’s California assemblyman Michael Duvall, Orange County’s 72nd Assembly District Representative and a crusader for conservative “family values”.

In July of this year - just two days after Assembly Speaker Karen Bass and Republican leader Sam Blakeslee put Duvall on the Rules Committee that oversees member ethics - the second-term, Republican assemblyman sat in a public hearing and vividly described lewd details about his trysts with a female lobbyist whose clients had business before another committee on which Duvall sits. What Duvall didn’t realize at the time was that he made the comments into a live microphone. That’s right folks - the microphone directly in front of his face was hot. Apparently it was turned on about a minute before the start of a cable-televised committee hearing, which gave Duvall just enough time to flush his entire career down the toilet. What makes this development even more ironic is that earlier this year Duvall received "100 percent" approval scores from the California Republican Assembly, the state's leading conservative outfit, and the Capitol Resource Institute (CRI), a fierce guardian of traditional family values.

“Assemblyman Duvall has been a consistent trooper for the conservative causes,” CRI president Karen England announced in March. “For the last two years, he has voted time and time again to protect and preserve family values in California. We are grateful for his support of California families.”

Fucking priceless. Dude receives 100 percent approval scores and is lauded by the CRI for being a fierce guardian of traditional family values, and not four months later he’s caught describing the sordid details of his affair with a married lobbyist into a hot microphone at a capitol hearing no less. Did I mention he’s also married with two grown children of his own? What a dipshit. Apparently his hypocrisy knows no bounds.

Duvall, speaking to a relatively mum Republican colleague seated to his left (assemblyman Jeff Miller, R-Corona), was captured in the middle of recounting portions of an affair.

"She wears little eye-patch underwear," said Duvall, who is married with two children. "So, the other day she came here with her underwear, Thursday. And
 so, we had made love Wednesday--a lot! And so she'll, she's all, 'I am going up and down the stairs, and you're dripping out of me!' So messy!"

Just when we’d gotten the horrible image of President Clinton blowing his load all over that portly intern… now this. Thanks for the disgusting and equally disturbing visual, assemblyman Duvall (or should I say former assemblyman?). Who’s going to be paying for my therapy this time?

Duvall--who was twice president of the Yorba Linda Chamber of Commerce, served two terms as mayor of Yorba Linda before entering the assembly in 2006, and is the owner of an insurance agency--continues his tale:

"So, I am getting into spanking her. Yeah, I like it. I like spanking her. She goes, 'I know you like spanking me.' I said, 'Yeah! Because you're such a bad girl!” He then laughed.

Mikey – you sick, old son of a bitch. How uh… ? Why uh… ? Nevermind – just read on. It gets even better.

The assemblyman representing Anaheim, Fullerton, Placentia, Orange, Brea, La
 Habra and Yorba Linda then offered clues to the identity of his sex partner.

"And so her birthday was Monday," he said at the Wednesday, July 8 committee hearing. "I was 54 on June 14, so for a month, she was 19 years younger than 
me. I said, 'Now, you're getting old. I am going to have to trade you in.' And she goes, '[I'm] 36.' She is 18 years younger than me. And so I keep teasing her, and she goes, 'I know you French men. You divide your age by two and add seven, and if you're older than that, you dump us.”

According to voter-registration records, veteran Sacramento-based lobbyist Heidi DeJong Barsuglia turned 36 years old on Monday, July 6. Oops – I guess the cat’s out of the bag. Nice work assemblyman, now you’ve not only ruined your career but also the career of the slut who was banging you.

Legislative sources say they have witnessed Duvall, who is vice chairman of the Assembly's powerful Committee on Utilities & Commerce, socializing after-hours with Barsuglia. Sources--who asked for anonymity because of Duvall's power in the capitol--say Susan Duvall usually stays in Orange County during the week, when her husband flies to Sacramento. They also say they have seen Duvall with Barsuglia in restaurants, "arm-in-arm" at political fund-raising events, and even shopping together for groceries just blocks from the capitol building.

"Their relationship is the worst-kept secret in Sacramento," a capitol staffer recently told me. "He's old and fat. She's hot, blonde and about 20
years younger. He could have never gotten a woman like that before he got
this job.”

First off I must disagree with the statement that she’s “hot, blonde and about 20 years younger” (see picture at top of this post). She is blonde and about 20 years younger than Duvall, but she’s certainly not hot. Especially not with Duvall’s gross old-man stew oozing out of her… sorry - uncalled for I know – couldn’t resist. But he's probably right - no way she bangs him for free.

Which brings us to the collusion part of our story. In April--two months after Duvall became vice chairman of the Utilities & Commerce committee--privately owned California utility giant Sempra Energy hired Barsuglia as one of its top lobbyists, according to Secretary of State records. The San Diego-based utility conglomerate isn't shy about lobbying
 lawmakers for favorable treatment. This session, they gave Duvall $1,500 in campaign contributions. In May, the assemblyman officially adopted the company's negative view on Assembly Bill 64, which proposes increasing the percentage of electricity the utilities must procure from environmentally
sensitive sources.

Sempra's 2008-2009 "Code of Business Conduct" states, "We've built [the company's] rich tradition because of the emphasis we place on ethical business conduct and compliance with the laws and regulations that govern
our business. We don't compromise on either for the sake of success".

Hiring a round-heeled lobbyist to fuck a gross, old assemblyman in exchange for his political support? Yeah – sounds like Sempra’s a pretty ethical organization to me. You think I can get a break on my electric bill if I proposition the meter maid?
Apparently Barsuglia wasn’t the only two-bit tramp Duvall was laying the wood to as he went on to reference a second, simultaneous affair with another married lobbyist. He seemed amused that he was cheating on both his wife and a mistress.

"Oh, yeah, Sher, Shar, Shar," Duvall said. "Oh, she is hot! I talked to her yesterday. She goes, 'So are we finished?' I go, 'No, we're not finished.' I go, 'You know about the other one [Barsuglia], but she doesn't know about you!” The assemblyman punctuated his observation with more laughter.

Wow – talk about a blind squirrel finding an acorn in the snow. This fat, old fucker found not one but two women who were willing to indulge in his sick sexual trysts, albeit with a political agenda in mind. If you think about it this story really gives new meaning to the term community outreach. Taxpayer and ratepayer money “hard” at work if you get what I mean. I know, I know – indulgent – couldn’t help myself.

In a recent development to this story assemblyman Duvall, who stepped down immediately after legislative leaders stripped him of his committee posts and launched an ethics probe of his actions, came out this morning and denied having any affairs.

"I want to make it clear that my decision to resign is in no way an admission that I had an affair or affairs," Duvall said in a statement on his website. "My offense was engaging in inappropriate story-telling and I regret my language and choice of words. The resulting media coverage was proving to be an unneeded distraction to my colleagues and I resigned in the hope that my decision would allow them to return to the business of the state."

So you made the whole thing up, huh assemblyman? On the one hand I want to believe you because the thought of you naked having sex with anyone makes me want to stab out my eyes with a hot poker (no pun intended), but on the other hand you’re a fat, fast-talking politician so my gut tells me you’re full of shit.

Your latest move is certainly a head-scratcher though. You could’ve easily come clean, admitted your indiscretions, and used the dirty bribe money you’ve obviously been accepting from day one you took office to fund a nice, quiet retirement. But instead you decide to lie about the affairs and will now undoubtedly be dragged before some legislative committee where you’ll be put under oath. If you lie under oath and get caught (which let’s face it - you will), you’ll be promptly fitted for an orange jumpsuit and dragged off to the hoosegow where the only action you’ll get will be Borat’s ass-pussy. Nice work, dumbfuck. You wouldn’t happen to be using the same legal adviser as Rod Blagojevich would you?

As TV camera crews chased lawmakers through capitol corridors for comment on the scandal Wednesday, the place was abuzz with gossip: other lawmakers with lobbyist mistresses, inappropriate invitations to romantic dinners, married legislators and industry officials canoodling at fundraisers and after-hours mixers. Duvall, some said, just happened to get caught.

Which paints a picture that the state legislature of California is nothing more than a cesspool of crooks, pimps, hookers, sex, and corruption masquerading as a network of elected public officials operating in the best interests of the people. Wow. God bless politics and God bless America!

Friday, September 4, 2009

Kenny MacAskill Sucks

Below is a copy of the letter FBI Chief Robert Mueller sent to Scotland’s Justice Minister, Kenny MacAskill, in response to MacAskill’s decision to set free convicted murderer / terrorist Abdel Baset al-Megrahi. If you’ll recall Megrahi was the lone terrorist convicted for the bombing of Pan Am Flight 103 in 1988, over Lockerbie, Scotland. The bombing killed 270 people, most of them Americans. In my opinion Mr. Mueller’s letter to MacAskill was far too kind. That being said at the bottom of this post is a letter I wrote to Kenny MacAskill. I think you’ll find it hits the mark just a bit better.


For Immediate Release
August 22, 2009

Washington D.C.
FBI National Press Office
(202) 324-3691

Letter from FBI Director Robert S. Mueller, III, to Scottish Minister Kenny MacAskill

August 21, 2009

The Honorable Kenny MacAskill, MSP
Cabinet Secretary for Justice
Scottish Government
St. Andrew's House
Regent Road
Edinburgh, Scotland, United Kingdom

Dear Mr. Secretary:

Over the years I have been a prosecutor, and recently as the Director of the FBI, I have made it a practice not to comment on the actions of other prosecutors, since only the prosecutor handling the case has all the facts and the law before him in reaching the appropriate decision.

Your decision to release Megrahi causes me to abandon that practice in this case. I do so because I am familiar with the facts, and the law, having been the Assistant Attorney General in charge of the investigation and indictment of Megrahi in 1991. And I do so because I am outraged at your decision, blithely defended on the grounds of "compassion."

Your action in releasing Megrahi is as inexplicable as it is detrimental to the cause of justice. Indeed your action makes a mockery of the rule of law. Your action gives comfort to terrorists around the world who now believe that regardless of the quality of the investigation, the conviction by jury after the defendant is given all due process, and sentence appropriate to the crime, the terrorist will be freed by one man's exercise of "compassion." Your action rewards a terrorist even though he never admitted to his role in this act of mass murder and even though neither he nor the government of Libya ever disclosed the names and roles of others who were responsible.

Your action makes a mockery of the emotions, passions and pathos of all those affected by the Lockerbie tragedy: the medical personnel who first faced the horror of 270 bodies strewn in the fields around Lockerbie, and in the town of Lockerbie itself; the hundreds of volunteers who walked the fields of Lockerbie to retrieve any piece of debris related to the breakup of the plane; the hundreds of FBI agents and Scottish police who undertook an unprecedented global investigation to identify those responsible; the prosecutors who worked for years--in some cases a full career--to see justice done.

But most importantly, your action makes a mockery of the grief of the families who lost their own on December 21, 1988. You could not have spent much time with the families, certainly not as much time as others involved in the investigation and prosecution. You could not have visited the small wooden warehouse where the personal items of those who perished were gathered for identification--the single sneaker belonging to a teenager; the Syracuse sweatshirt never again to be worn by a college student returning home for the holidays; the toys in a suitcase of a businessman looking forward to spending Christmas with his wife and children.

You apparently made this decision without regard to the views of your partners in the investigation and prosecution of those responsible for the Lockerbie tragedy. Although the FBI and Scottish police, and prosecutors in both countries, worked exceptionally closely to hold those responsible accountable, you never once sought our opinion, preferring to keep your own counsel and hiding behind opaque references to "the need for compassion."

You have given the family members of those who died continued grief and frustration. You have given those who sought to assure that the persons responsible would be held accountable the back of your hand. You have given Megrahi a "jubilant welcome" in Tripoli, according to the reporting. Where, I ask, is the justice?

Sincerely yours,

Robert S. Mueller, III


For Immediate Release
September 4, 2009

The Basement of My House
Quinsey Blog Press Office
(800) GET-BENT

Letter from Quinsey Blog Director John D. Quinsey, I, to Scottish Minister Kenny MacAskill

September 3, 2009

The Detestable Kenny MacAskill, MSP
Cabinet Secretary for Egregious Injustice
Scottish Government
St. Andrew's House
Regent Road
Edinburgh, Scotland, United Kingdom

Dear Ass Hat:

Since I established this blog in June of last year I’ve written about a number of different misguided douche bags and the reprehensible decisions they’ve made for which they have no defense. You however just might win the prize for exercising the inexplicably poorest judgment on an international stage. What the fuck were you thinking? Setting free a convicted mass murderer so he can go home to die of cancer at peace with family and friends by his bedside? Not to mention the fact that he received a hero’s welcome upon his return to Libya. I hope you’re happy with yourself, Kenny.

Did you even once stop to consider how your decision would make the friends and family members of the 270 people who perished on Pan Am Flight 103 feel? You might as well have brought all 270 of the deceased back to life and killed them all over again. Seriously, how big of an asshole are you? You freed Megrahi on the grounds of “compassion”. Where was the “compassion” the day he willfully and ruthlessly murdered 270 innocent victims on Pan Am Flight 103? A piece of shit like Megrahi doesn’t deserve compassion. He deserves exactly what’s coming to him and nothing more. Let me ask you this, Kenny? Did Megrahi’s 270 victims get the opportunity to die at home with their friends and family members by their side? No, they were forced to die in a burning plane, scared and alone. So please remind me again Kenny, why Megrahi deserves our “compassion”. Shit, I’d cut off my right arm before extending it to help a dog like Megrahi to his feet. And I have a hard time grasping how anyone else would feel differently, lest a justice minister like yourself.

Which leads one to believe that your decision had very little to do with “compassion” and much more to do with Scotland and England’s oil interests in Libya. If this is indeed the case and all signs point to the fact that it is, know this. There’s blood on your hands Kenny, and blood on the hands of anyone else involved in the making of this decision. I hope you have a hard time sleeping and that you lie awake at night pondering the true malice of your actions. I used to think of Scotland as a land of great tradition with lush landscapes and wonderfully challenging golf courses. Now I’ll think of Scotland as a country of low moral standards with a corrupt government and elected officials who’d gladly sell out their brothers to make a buck. Way to single-handedly ruin the public perception of your entire country, Kenny.

And while on the topic of nationalistic perceptions allow me to chime in on my impressions of Libya. Seriously, a hero’s welcome for a convicted mass murderer? What’s wrong with you, Libya? Bad enough you have a deranged lunatic (Muammar al-Gadafi – yep, that guy) running your country… and now this. Well done Libya, you have truly hit a new low even for you. Something tells me that the fallout from this latest display will likely do irreparable harm to your relations with the West. Your actions were abhorrent and completely indefensible. Enjoy the next century of trade embargos, you dumb fucks. In a very predictable move Ali Aujali, the Libyan ambassador to Washington, came out with a statement saying that Megrahi’s welcoming was not a hero’s welcome for a convicted murderer, but instead a celebration of the homecoming of a dying man who most of Libya believes to be innocent. He even went so far as to say that most of those on the tarmac cheering for Megrahi upon his return were actually members of his extended family and tribe (the crowd was estimated in the thousands which would mean Megrahi has the single largest living extended family in the entire history of the world). Nice try Ali, but nobody’s buying it. Following the Lockerbie bombing in 1988 an extensive investigation was conducted over a period of many months involving over a thousand government, military, and law enforcement personnel from several different countries (including England, Scotland, and the United States). Megrahi’s guilt was proven in a court of law beyond the shadow of a doubt. And I don’t care how you try to spin it, Ali – Libya’s celebration of Megrahi’s return was flat out wrong, albeit not completely unexpected.

Now back to you, Kenny. By freeing Megrahi you caused the detestable celebration of a convicted mass murderer in Libya, which in my book makes you equally detestable. Perhaps you should move to Libya yourself and live amongst the dogs who might more appreciate a man of your moral stature, or lack there of. In summary Kenny, any good you have done throughout your entire miserable existence on this earth (and I doubt there’s been much) was just nullified by your inexplicably bad decision to set free Abdel Baset al-Megrahi. And I don’t care if you were pressured to do so by the Scottish government, or the British parliament, or even Allah himself. You were the trigger man responsible for this egregious injustice so you are the one who must answer for it. May your pasty white ass be chafed by your ridiculous man skirt (or kilt as you Scots like to call it), may you create foul music on your equally ridiculous bagpipes, and may you choke on your disgustingly warm beer, you worthless piece of Scottish shit.

Sarcastically yours,

John D. Quinsey, I
Quinsey Blog Director