Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Blame It...



Blame it (On The Alcohol)

Blame it on the goose
Got you feeling loose
Blame it on Patron
Got you in the zone
Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol
Blame it on the a a a a a a alcohol

Blame it on the vodka
Blame it on the henny
Blame it on the blue top
Got you feeling dizzy
Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol
Blame it on the a a a a a a alcohol


Every time I hear this damn song I can’t get it out of my head. Sometimes when nobody else is in the room I’ll even bust out my own white boy rendition of the song complete with dance moves (picture the fat kid on YouTube doing the light saber routine – yeah, I look just about that ridiculous). Thanks a lot Jamie Foxx and T-Pain (whoever the fuck you are). The last time I heard it however, it got me thinking. Sure - the song is literally about getting drunk, having random sex with strangers, and then blaming it on the booze (I was over-served damn it). But in a broader sense it can also be viewed as a figurative statement about today’s society as a whole. For at some point in time people stopped taking personal responsibility for their actions and started blaming others for their problems. Maybe it’s the down economy, maybe it’s the fabricated notion of the earth’s eroding atmosphere, or maybe it’s the fact that the world is coming to an abrupt end in just over 27 months (allegedly). Regardless of the cause of this ‘woe is me / I’m the victim’ movement, it’s really starting to piss me off. That being said I decided to have a little fun with the chorus and apply it to some other situations where people blame external sources for their own internal (self-generated) problems.

Version 1: Blame It (On The Government)

I ain’t got no job
I ain’t got no money
Healthcare’s too expensive
Man this shit ain’t funny
Blame it on the g g g g g government
Blame it on the g g g g g g government

Blame it on Barack
Blame it on Pelosi
Blame it on the Dems
But on the GOP mostly
Blame it on the g g g g g government
Blame it on the g g g g g g government


Version 2: Blame It (On The Mexicans)

Schools are over crowded
Wellfare system’s taxed
Everybody’s speakin Spanish
Como se dice this is wack
Blame it on the M M M M M Mexicans
Blame it on the M M M M M M Mexicans

Blame it on Juanita
Blame it on Jose
Don’t blame it on Cheech Marin
He was born in East LA
Blame it on the M M M M M Mexicans
Blame it on the M M M M M M Mexicans


Version 3: Blame It (On The Internet)

At my desk all day
Can’t get nothin done
Hard to pay my bills
Boss thinks I’m a bum
Blame it on the i i i i i internet
Blame it on the i i i i i i internet

Blame it on the Facebook
When my pay gets docked
Blame it on the porn sites
Unless that shit gets blocked
Blame it on the i i i i i internet
Blame it on the i i i i i i internet


Bet you didn't know I could rap. Word.

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