Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The 100th Post of the Quinsey Blog



100 posts and what have we learned other than that I love midgets and am disgusted by fat people? Almost two and a half years later after countless hours of research, writing, proof-reading, and revisions the following topics have been featured on the Quinsey Blog:

The commencement speech I would deliver at a graduation
The horrors of getting a man massage
The egregious misuse of “replying to all”
Over-zealous religion pimpers
Heightism
Oprah Winfrey’s abnormal influence over people and their careers
Chris Blatchford’s excessive pausing
Ridiculous celebrity baby names
Characteristics of a tool
The establishment of a national stop the stupid registry
The irresponsibility of the US government
The San Diego sports curse
My hatred of TJ Simers
Why white people shouldn’t dance
The Last Lecture
George W.’s inexplicable ignorance
The importance of keeping the fun lamp lit
Why I love Al Davis
The Wall Street Bailout
OJ Simpson’s legal troubles
AIG’s fleecing of the tax payers
Prop 8
Tony Kornheiser and his need to be fired
McCain’s resemblance to Howdy Doody
Partisan politics
Lance Armstrong and the Tour De France
San Diego Padres management
Guns, alcohol, and off-duty cops
Nebraska’s safe haven loophole
The Big Three’s visit to Washington
A Walmart employee trampled to death on black Friday
Rod Blagojevich and his crookery
The Duggars and their baby factory
Kwanzaa
A look back on 2008
The world through the eyes of a douche
Real Chance of Love’s revelation moment
Boy George’s sex scandal
A potential father of the year candidate
Jib Jab videos and Christmas letters
The realities of a down economy
The legalization of marijuana
The Octomom
Dancing with the Stars
British and French nuclear submarines
Winston Churchill and his awesomeness
China’s harassment of a US vessel
Alex Rodriguez and his lack of judgment
A polar bear attack at the Berlin zoo
Nancy Pelosi (aka Satan)
My love of midgets
Reflections on Memorial Day
Foreign relations advice for President Obama
My Heart of Darkness book report gaffe
The fan riots in LA
Reverse racism
The deification of Michael Jackson
Global warming
Ambien CR
Characteristics of a soccer tool
Kenny MacAskill and why he sucks
The Mike Duvall open mike incident
Kanye West’s inappropriate outbursts
Reasons why my wife thinks I’m an asshole
Sobriety
Tiger Woods’ sex scandal
Name those headlines
Festivus
The Real Housewives of Orange County
The fattest woman on the planet
The inequities of the current tax code
SB 1070
Lindsey Lohan inspired words
The BP oil spill
Reasons to get your man card pulled
My love / hate affair with summer
2012 and the end of the world
Questions that keep me up at night
The Ladera Flasher
A man’s response to “23 Things Women Want”
The law of gravity
My love of Vegas
New lyrics for Blame It (On The Alcohol)
People who expect the government to solve their problems
Social networking
The death penalty

To call it a meandering assortment of subject matter would be an understatement. As “double rainbow guy” so profoundly beseeched in his infamous YouTube video: “What does it mean!?” Well, just like the "full double rainbow" I’m not sure exactly what it means but I do know what it represents. I love writing, I always have. What I didn’t realize until now is that other people actually enjoy reading what I write. My underlying goal with the Quinsey Blog has always been to educate while entertaining, to inform through humor and sarcasm, and mostly just to amuse. Though I haven’t always hit the mark on these objectives the overwhelming feedback I’ve received from this blog (both good and bad) has validated two things in my mind: 1) I can actually write, and 2) my voice has a place in the world. To that end I’ve decided to pursue writing as more than just a hobby. While I don’t plan on quitting my day job anytime soon I will now focus more of my efforts on works that are publishable (like the book I started writing 3+ years ago). When I’ve become a rich and famous author (you can stop laughing now) I’ll look back on this blog and more importantly the people who read it as the launching point. In closing I’ll leave you with a quote from Steve Jobs delivered during his 2005 commencement speech at Stanford University, which seems appropriate considering I started this blog with my own graduation commencement speech. I wrote it down several years ago but only now fully grasp its meaning.

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma -- which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become."

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Why Some People Need To Die



NEW HAVEN, Conn. — A paroled burglar was convicted Tuesday of killing a mother and her two daughters in a 2007 home invasion in an affluent Connecticut town and faces the possibility of being sentenced to death.

Steven Hayes, 47, was convicted of capital felony, murder, sexual assault and other counts by a jury that heard eight days of gruesome testimony about the July 2007 attacks on Jennifer Hawke-Petit and her daughters, 17-year-old Hayley and 11-year-old Michaela.

The sole survivor, Dr. William Petit, appeared to hold back tears as the verdict was read. His head down, he sucked in his bottom lip.

The verdict triggers a second phase of the trial, beginning Oct. 18, in which the same jurors will decide if Hayes should be executed or face life in prison.

Hayes' defense admitted his involvement in the fatal home invasion but blamed his co-defendant, Joshua Komisarjevsky, for being the aggressor. Komisarjevsky faces trial next year and also could be sentenced to death.

Komisarjevsky spotted the mother and her two daughters at a supermarket, followed them to their Cheshire home, then returned later with Hayes, authorities say.

The men broke into the Petit house in the New Haven suburb of Cheshire, beat William Petit with a baseball bat and forced Hawke-Petit to withdraw money from a bank before raping and strangling her, according to testimony. The men, both paroled burglars who met at a halfway house, tied the girls to their beds, put pillow cases over their heads and poured gas on or around them before setting the house on fire, authorities say.

The girls died of smoke inhalation. Authorities say the men were caught fleeing the scene.


How can you read about a heinous crime like this and not be in favor of the death penalty? Below are a few of the arguments I collected from those who oppose it:

1) A government's act to execute is a violation of human rights, especially if there remains a possibility that the individual is innocent.

2) The high reversal rate in death penalty cases illustrates the fallibility of the criminal justice process. Therefore the risk of executing an innocent person is too great to justify executing anyone.

3) The death penalty doesn’t make sense for economic reasons as the costs of trial and appeals for a capital case are far greater than would be the case if the death penalty were not sought.

4) The United States is out of step with other industrialized countries in its practice of the death penalty. The only other OECD country which permits the death penalty is Japan, and executions there are infrequent.

My response to each of these arguments? Complete bullshit.

1) I couldn’t care less about a murdering rapist’s human rights. I give them the same regard that the murdering rapists gave to their victims.

2) With modern DNA technology it’s almost impossible to convict an innocent person. The only cases being overturned are those from the past when DNA technology was in its infancy.

3) I don’t care how much it costs to fry a monster. Can you put a price on the lives they destroyed with their deplorable acts?

4) Since the days of the Declaration of Independence the United States has never been a country of followers. Why start now?

In other words you’d have to be a complete fucking moron to oppose the death penalty across the board. Certainly there are exceptions to the rule (crimes committed by the mentally retarded perhaps) but if you ask me the death penalty isn’t over used, it isn’t used enough. Think about all the stories you hear on the news about paroled sex offenders who strike again once released from prison (the Chelsea King case in San Diego comes to mind). Do you know why you hear these stories so often? Because rehabilitation doesn’t work, that’s why. Sick fucks like Steven Hayes and Joshua Komisarjevsky don’t need to be fixed. They couldn’t be fixed even if they wanted to be. The evil gene is so deeply entrenched in their DNA that there’s simply no getting it out. How else could you explain their disgustingly abhorrent behavior? They can’t be fixed so they need to be killed. I don’t see how it could be any clearer.

My thoughts and prayers go out to Dr. William Petit. No one should ever have to go through what you’ve gone through. The restraint and patience you’ve demonstrated since the rape and murder of your wife and children is astonishing. You are clearly a stronger man than I.

Friday, October 1, 2010

10 Random Questions on a Friday Afternoon



After the touchy feely post I wrote yesterday I felt compelled to go the other direction today. Enjoy.

1) Why do old people smell funny? Are they literally rotting on the inside like a carton of milk past its expiration date? If that’s the case why do they always migrate to cities with warm climates? Don’t they know what happens to milk left out in the sun?

2) Am I the only one who feels like a complete idiot carrying a bag of my dog’s shit on our walks? After he’s done his business and I’ve picked it up I can’t find a trash can soon enough. I see people all the time swinging it around like a tennis racket or a handbag. That’s a bag shit people – not a basket of lollipops.

3) Have you ever noticed how Buzz Aldrin always seems pissed off? Do you suppose he’s still bitter about being the 2nd man on the moon? Can’t be easy playing the role of 2nd fiddle bitch to Neil Armstrong. Just ask Eli what it’s like to be Peyton’s brother?

4) What’s with all the aggressive sales people at mall kiosks these days? Back off Sa'id – I already told you I don’t need any fancy hand lotion and my wife’s not interested in your Euro hair straightening contraption.

5) Why do you always see old couples at restaurants who can go through an entire meal without saying one word to each other? After a certain amount of time being married do people just run out of things to talk about?

6) Why the hell would you ever ask a man what he’s feeling? Would you ask a retarded person what they’re thinking? Can’t take credit for this one – it’s the brain child of the dudes who wrote “Look At My Striped Shirt!”

7) Why do you see so many young, hot chicks with old, ugly, fat guys? Aren’t there more important things in life than money? Just the other day while I was in the airport I saw this attractive young woman holding hands with one of the oldest, ugliest, fattest dudes I’ve ever seen. I was tempted to slip her note that said “Have you been kidnapped? Do you need me to call the police?”

8) Is the anticipation of a vacation sometimes better than the vacation itself? Would this paradigm shift if they banned fat people from beaches?

9) Would Mormons have a higher conversion rate if missionaries looked cooler? Wearing a white, short sleeved dress shirt with a tie while riding a bicycle is like wearing a big sign around your neck that says: “I’m a huge douche - please kick my ass.”

10) How come the North Korean army does the same creepy, straight-legged march as the German Nazis? Is that something they teach at communist school? Don’t they know they could get their faster if they bent their knees?