Thursday, December 23, 2010

Thank the Gays

When I was a younger man I was closed minded and ignorant, no question about it. During my college years I worked at a restaurant in a predominately gay part of San Diego called Hillcrest. I specifically remember the arguments I used to have with my homosexual coworkers regarding the righteousness (or lack thereof) of their lifestyle “choice”. My position was that homosexuality is completely unnatural on the basis that two members of the same sex cannot procreate, and therefore it’s not what nature intended. Fortunately I evolved and soon became aware of the pigheaded errors in my ill-conceived judgment. Error #1: People don’t “choose” to be gay – either you are or you aren’t – it’s hardwired into our DNA from birth. (Don’t get me started on bisexuals – that’s a whole other post in itself) Error #2: How do we know that homosexuality isn’t nature’s way of controlling population growth, which would by definition make it every bit as natural as heterosexuality?

Think about it - the earth has a limited amount of natural resources and can therefore only support a finite amount of life for a finite amount of time. Unlike global warming, over-population and the diminishment of earth’s natural resources are two actual problems facing humanity. Perhaps homosexuality was a part of the master plan all along to help keep the population in check, but until only recently has society become enlightened enough to accept it as non-deviant behavior (except in the red states of course where apparently it’s okay to have sex with your cousin but it’s not okay to be gay). If you think about it in these terms the gays are actually doing the rest of the population a favor by jumping on the proverbial reproduction grenade, so that we straights may continue to fill the world with our own judgmental offspring.

Which is brings us to the moral responsibility of all parents, and I cannot express the importance of this enough. It’s 2010 people - we’re just 2 short years from being introduced to the 4th dimension of space and time (allegedly). During this the season of giving please, please, please teach your children not to be threatened by, to hate, or to forsake the gays, but instead teach them to tolerate, accept, and even thank the gays. Yes - they take part in the love that dare not speak its name, but open your mind and you’ll see that gays are entitled to the exact same rights to life, love, and happiness as everyone else in this crazy, mixed up world. If anything the gays actually deserve more rights as they’re not part of the serious over-population problem facing the world today, but instead they’re part of the solution. It’s just too bad there aren’t more Chinese gays (1 out of every 5 babies born in the world today is Chinese).

And to my homosexual coworkers from the Corvette Diner in San Diego in the early 1990’s I apologize – you were right and I was wrong.

The Quinsey Blog

1 comment:

Brian said...

The only scary thing about this is that you worked at a place called the Corvette Diner.