Friday, May 20, 2011

Top Ten Reasons The World Actually Is Ending Tomorrow



10. Radical right has turned on Newt Gingrich (God forbid he said something to appeal to the sensible middle ground)

9. With over 21 million viewers per episode, “Dancing with the Stars” number one rated show in America (WTF!?)

8. The other day in my car I rocked out to a song from “Pink” (so disgusted with myself – had to pull my own man card)

7. Kirstie Alley referred to as “graceful” (on “Dancing with the Stars” of course – what else?)

6. The “American Idol” finale is down to two contestants who both sing country music and I don’t hate it (yes I watch American Idol – don’t judge me)

5. Arnold Schwarzenegger has baby with woman uglier than him (who knew that was even possible?)

4. Charlie Sheen does something rational (no he didn’t – made that one up for shock value)

3. Sarah Palin says something intelligent (now I’m just f*cking with you)

2. Lady Gaga overtakes Oprah as most powerful person in the entertainment industry in the world according to Forbes Magazine (holy shit - this one is actually true - better watch your ass Gaga – Oprah don’t like being second)

1. Raining frogs spotted off coast of Mexico (run)

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