Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Junrey Balawing Declared (New) World’s Shortest Man

SINDANGAN, Philippines — A Guinness World Records representative has declared Junrey Balawing, the son of a poor Filipino locksmith, who measured 23.5 inches tall as the world's shortest man. Is it wrong that I want to swaddle him up and carry him around on my back a la Luke and Yoda?

Guinness official Craig Glenday says Balawing, who turned 18 on Sunday, broke the record of Khagendra Thapa Magar of Nepal, who is 26.4 inches tall. Magar reportedly threw an adorable little temper tantrum upon hearing the news. The announcement drew a loud applause from Balawing's parents and townmates in Zamboanga del Norte's remote Sindangan township in the southern Philippines, who showered the new celebrity with a feast, a cake, balloons and cash gifts. Balawing thanked the crowd and posed for pictures (the cutest pictures EVER).

According to Balawing’s family he was born a normal size and they didn’t notice anything unusual about him until he was about 4 years old and his peers grew more than he did. He has not grown since his first birthday, his parents told Guinness. Hmmm, no growth from years 1 through 4? Seems perfectly normal to me. They are too poor to investigate what medical condition prevented him from growing taller, Guinness said. I'm no doctor but I'll bet you dollars for doughnuts he’s got whatever Webster had (remember that show – I’m tearing up thinking about it). But they call him "their lucky charm," saying his father Reynaldo, a locksmith, had been unemployed until he was born, then found a job after his birth. "He needs my care every minute of every day. Junrey can only walk with some help and he can't stand for too long because he's in too much pain," his mother, Concepcion, said.

He does not have a girlfriend, he told Guinness World Records editor-in-chief Craig Glenday: "You fool!" he chides in his squeaky high-pitched voice, "Don't even ask!" He must be saving himself for Thumbelina. And from the “no shit” department Glenday was quoted as saying, "I can't imagine anyone else being quite so small.” Thanks Craig – that’s simply profound.

Craig Glenday from Guinness got so excited during Balawing's measurement that he almost smashed the little bugger with his fist. "Don't do it, Craig!"

No comments: