Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Straight From The WTF Department: 'Hung' Star Thomas Jane Proclaims “I Had Sex With Men for Money”

Thomas Jane casually tells the Los Angeles Times that as a struggling 18-year-old actor, he often performed sexual acts with other men in order to pay the bills.

Whoa, back up the truck. Did you just say that you OFTEN performed sexual acts with other men in exchange for money? I’m no Dr. Phil, but if I’m not mistaken I'm pretty sure you just outed yourself as a gay prostitute.

"As James Dean said, you're going to have one arm tied behind your back if you don't accept people's sexual favors," Jane explains.

Huh? I’m confused. How is ANYTHING James Dean ever said even remotely applicable to you being a gay hooker? I’m not following you, Tommy. Please elaborate.

"When I was a kid out here in L.A., I was homeless. I didn't have any money and I was living in my car," the actor recalls. "I wasn't averse to going down to Santa Monica Boulevard and letting a guy buy me a sandwich. Know what I mean?"

Um, a blow job for a sandwich? Yeah… no. I have no idea what you mean. I do know that’s completely disgusting and you’re a sick f*ck though.

The 42-year-old actor adds that the experience "blew the doors off my conventional upbringing" (no pun intended) and opened him up to new possibilities.

New possibilities? Like tea bagging George Michael in a public restroom at the beach? Seriously, what’s dirtier than a public restroom at the beach? Never mind, I just answered that.

"You're a lot more open to experimentation as a young man," he tells the newspaper. "And for me, being a young artist and broke in Los Angeles, I was exploring my sexual identity."

There you go playing the starving artist card. So f*cking predictable. News flash: being an “artist” doesn’t give you carte blanche to behave like a filthy pervert. What is it with you Hollywood types thinking you’re somehow above the laws of conventional society? I’m an actor so I can do whatever the f*ck I want and label it artistic expression – bullshit.

By the way the only acceptable form of someone “exploring their sexual identity” would involve two sorority sisters, a video camera, and copious amounts of alcohol. You getting poo-jammed by some random dude in an alley in exchange for a cheeseburger doesn’t even remotely qualify.

The actor, whose former wives include Ayesha Hauer and Patricia Arquette, doesn't regret his decision to dabble in same-sex relations.

Yeah, but I bet they regret ever marrying a twisted f*ck like you. I’m sorry Ayesha and Patricia, but there’ll be no shower hot enough or long enough to ever wash off the filth of this degenerate.

“Until you've tasted the food, you don't know whether you'll like it or not, as my mom always said," he says.

Wow, really? Did you really just quote your Mom when talking about your history as a gay prostitute? Mom must be so proud.

I’ll take a dick sandwich with a side of brown gravy please. (I know, I know that’s just childish - sorry I couldn’t resist)

Let me conclude this post by stating that I have no problem whatsoever with homosexuality in any way, shape, or form. I’m actually in favor of it. Diversity in all forms is a healthy paradigm for any society. I do however have a big problem with bisexual prostitution. Do you think Tom Brady would ever consider moonlighting for the New York Jets during his bye week? I think not. Pick a team people. Otherwise you’re just a depraved pervert – like Thomas Jane. Wow.

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