Monday, December 5, 2011

The Participation Trophy Generation

A buddy sent me a link to a YouTube video last week. It contained Adam Carolla’s 9+ minute rant on the OWS Generation. He used some offensive language and off color analogies (sound familiar?) but his point was spot on. About twenty years ago we as a society f*cked up, and only now are we seeing the consequences of our actions. The exact cause or catalyst of this vicious cycle of events is not clear, but what is clear are the results. Twenty years of coddling, and pampering, and falsely inflated egos and what have we got? An entire generation of lazy, self-entitled pussies, that’s what (or ass douches as Adam Carolla likes to call them). Seriously, when did we as parents make a conscious decision to start ruining our children?

Example #1: Oh, you struck out and cost your team the game little Johnny? That’s okay, it wasn’t your fault. That umpire’s an idiot, no chance that was a strike – it’s his fault. And your coach shouldn’t have been hitting you last, everyone knows you’re a leadoff hitter – it’s his fault too. Here’s a cookie and a trophy champ – good job. As long as you gave it YOUR best you’re always a winner in my book.

Translation: Johnny never works hard at anything because his mediocre accomplishments are enough to make his parents proud. When he is measured up against others and deemed inferior it’s not his fault, it’s society’s. Johnny can’t get a job because he sucks. Instead of working hard to improve his station in life he camps out in the park with the other losers and blames the 1%.

Example #2: My son has a severe peanut allergy. I need verification that this school has a strict “no peanut” policy. If he even so much as breathes in peanut dust he could die.

Translation: If I can’t have peanuts then NO ONE can have peanuts. It’s all about me, me, me. Johnny has a low paying job and drives a piece of shit beater. Instead of busting his ass to get promoted so he can make more money and buy a better car, he instead chooses to vandalize the cars of the 1%. That’ll show em.

Example #3: You’re not fat son, you’re just big boned. Don’t listen to those other kids who are teasing you, they’re just jealous because they’re not as handsome and smart as you are. Have another doughnut, it’ll make you feel better.

Translation: Johnny is a fat sack of shit with major health problems. Nobody wants to hire a fat sack of shit and Johnny can’t afford private health coverage. Instead of losing weight so he can get a job with health coverage (which he wouldn’t even need if he was thin), he pickets in the park about how the 1% are driving up the cost of healthcare and sending all the good jobs overseas.

It’s time to stop the f*cking insanity people. Life isn’t easy and it isn’t fair. The sooner our children learn this, the better off they’ll be. Stop blowing smoke up their ass about how great they are, and instead give them the tools and the work ethic necessary to achieve greatness. Life is a zero sum game as I see it. For every winner there’s a loser. If you give your kid a trophy for simply participating, you’ve pretty much already sealed their fate.


Staci Gingery said...

You are so right on! Playing video games and eating donuts will not get you a job at Apple. Applebees, maybe... if you're lucky.

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