Monday, February 6, 2012

Send in the Clowns

I keep telling myself that the current crop of GOP candidates is like beer. The first time I tried it I thought it was disgusting, but over time I’ve learned to love it. Just like the icy malt beverage that I enjoy so much, at some point one of these candidates has got to win me over, right? Well, the more I watch the debates, listen to their speeches, and hear their interviews on CNN, the more I become convinced that my theory is all wrong. What follows is my ode to the 2012 GOP Primary entitled: “Send in the Clowns” (if we didn’t laugh about it we might have to cry)

Send in the Clowns

Mitt Romney the front runner gets most of the votes
But he says stupid shit that the media quotes
With regards to the poor he couldn’t care less
His personal tax rate (15%) he will not address
His religious beliefs create political drama
His fiscal ideas are too much like Obama

The best of the bunch is probably Newt
He’s intelligent, logical, politically astute
But to say that he’s polarizing would be putting it lightly
He’s pompous and arrogant, his appearance unsightly
He cheated on wife number one and on two
He’s polling around zero in the states that are blue

Santorum joined the race and made a big splash
But his campaign is doomed, he don’t have enough cash
His views are extreme, if he had his way
He’d make it illegal for you to be gay
He believes that the “War on Terror” is legit
Which leads me to believe that he don’t know shit

Last but not least there’s the side show Ron Paul
He’s diminutive, miniature, tiny, not tall
I feel like he already ran years ago
But the last time around (1992) his name was Perot
His ideas make sense but he’s hardly electable
Libertarian or crazy? It’s barely detectable

As a life-long conservative it brings me much pain
By criticizing my own party I’ve nothing to gain
But we’ve reached a point where I simply don’t care
If this is the best we can do let’s be fair
When the traveling circus hits your cities and towns
Cue the band, play it loud, “Send in the Clowns”

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