Thursday, April 19, 2012

Vegas Inspired Prose


I’m a big fan of T.S. Eliot and an even bigger fan of Las Vegas, NV. A recent trip to Vegas inspired me to wax the poetical, a la T.S. Eliot style. I call it:

The Greatest Freak Show on Earth

Simultaneously the most exciting and disgusting city in the world, festering paradise

Fat chick with tattoos in high heels and short skirt, slump buster

Mysterious Asian dude in cheap leisure suit with huge stacks of black chips, gambler

The perfect destination for the white trash honeymoon, red states

Gold chain and affliction t-shirt wearing guy, crying on the inside

Old guy w/ oxygen tank smoking while playing slots, spontaneous combustion

Random dude on strip charging tourists for pictures with his parrots, huh?

Non-English speaking Euro who insists on hitting 12 even though the dealer shows 6, chain smoking asshole

Guy who’s figured out how to beat the odds and wants to tell you all about it, MIT student

Homeless teenagers with cleverly written signs squatting on the bridge, “I just want to be like you

Lame bachelor party tools reciting lines from “The Hangover”, justified sucker punch

Dude on “business trip” over-drinking and unsuccessfully hitting on waitress, call your wife douche bag

Ugly Nebraskans snapping uninspired pictures in front of everything they pass by, inappropriate family vacation

Creepy old guy out to expensive dinner w/ Russian prostitute, don’t stare

Guy in “I love porn” t-shirt barely able to form a sentence, inside voice buddy

Burned out hippie playing electric guitar for spare change on the bridge – “And she’s buying the stairway to heaven

I’m here for 3 days, why do you ask? Cheap show tickets, a trip to the Grand Canyon, a timeshare at the Hard Rock, Russian prostitutes? Tempting, but no thanks

Short Mexican dudes snapping pictures of naked chicks at you on the strip, timeless

Vigilant black guy pimping original CD’s for a song and bottles of water for a dollar, the new American entrepreneur

Vomit, sex, drugs, money, adrenalin, celebrities, homicide, bright lights, broken dreams… a f*cking cat with sunglasses?

Must be Vegas

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