Thursday, June 21, 2012

Enjoy (verb): To experience with joy; to take pleasure in.

I started doing the Beachbody “Insanity” workouts a couple weeks back.   Call me crazy but I kind of enjoy the suffering.  It makes me feel alive.  Which got me thinking of a few other strange things that I enjoy and some that I don’t:
First off viral videos of kids doing adorable shit.  Not enjoy.  Honestly, they kind of piss me off.  I must be missing that “awwww” gene.  A fat person falling off a bicycle?  Now you’re talking.
What about open mic gaffes by unscrupulous public officials (as if there’s any other kind)?  Enjoy, more than you’ll ever know.
Musicals.  Not enjoy.  Maybe if the singers were topless I wouldn’t fall asleep?  Maybe I’ve been to Vegas too much.
Being married to someone smarter than me.  Enjoy being married to her (very much).  Not enjoy losing EVERY argument to her.  My lot in life.
Sports analogies.  You just can’t use them enough, regardless of what your wife / girlfriend says.  Enjoy.
Intoxicated, smack-talking fans of opposing teams at Charger games.  Not enjoy.  If it wasn’t illegal to punch you in the face, I would have done so already.
Repeating lines from movies (especially Tommy Boy, Glengarry Glen Ross, and Wall Street).  See comment on sports analogies above.  What’s not to enjoy?
Dude at baseball game who knocks down little girl trying to catch foul ball, then celebrates like he just won the Superbowl after catching it.  Feeling punchy again.  Not enjoy.  
Awkward public confrontation.  One of life’s most under-rated hidden treasures.  Enjoy, so much.  Don’t forget the video camera.
Smart-ass, know-it-all teenagers.  Only now do I fully understand those looks of malice that were flashed my way some 20 years ago.  Not enjoy, at all.
Moral gray areas.  I actually live here, so I must enjoy them.
A fat chick in a string bikini: 

Need I say more?  You should have seen my wife while I snapped off this montage.  She was absolutely mortified.  Me?  I had a huge smile from ear to ear.  It was like I was filming a Nat Geo special documenting the bizarre mating rituals of a new, indigenous species.  Perma-joy. 
Was this entire post just a shameless excuse to publish these disturbing pictures on the web?  Yup. 
I’m such an asshole.  Good thing I enjoy myself so much.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Thank you for posting those pictures, John! WOW. Not only did you make me feel for a SPLIT second like going out and buying a string bikini again, but you also made me feel that after all these years of not wearing one (10 to be exact) I made the right choice!!! :) Bless her heart...