Friday, May 2, 2014

I’m So Misunderstood


This post is recycled from 3 years ago.  It was only up for a day so I’m re-posting now.  At the time I was managing my son’s little league team and a board member of our local little league asked me to take it down.  Apparently it was not a good representation of league values.  Well, my son has since retired from little league (and so have I), so they can censor me no more.  Please enjoy J.

It’s a new record.  Just 3 practices and 2 scrimmages into the season and a mom has already blasted me to the league president.  Excerpt from her e-mail: “John Quinsey is not what Little League stands for.  He is only about himself. In fact, at the parent meeting he said winning is extremely important to him.  That should of told me something right there.”  We haven’t even played our first f*cking game and she’s already threatening to pull her kid from the team.  What can I say? I’m the Bobby Knight of little league baseball. The ironic thing is that 95% of the people who have played on my teams over the past 9 seasons have extremely positive things to say about me and even give me rave reviews on my post-season parent evaluations (I know because I read them).  It’s that misguided 5% who make all the noise and do their best to paint me as the bad guy.  I love coaching little league baseball and I love being around the kids, but man do the nut job parents drive me crazy.

Let me net it out for you lady.  Do I really think that winning is extremely important? Hell yeah, I do.  Face it - the only people who believe in the adage, “It doesn’t matter if you win or lose, it’s how you play the game,” are LOSERS.  Life is a zero sum game as I see it. Every time somebody wins somebody else has to lose.  If we don’t teach our kids how to end up on the right side of the equation from the very start, we’re setting them up to fail plain and simple. To me little league baseball is the perfect opportunity to instill a winning attitude at a very young age so that’s how I play it.  Am I hard on the boys?  Sure - sometimes. Do I expect excellence at all times?  Yup - always.  Does every player on my team end the season a stronger player than they started out?  Absolutely - no question about it.  I figure I spend @ 10-12 hours a week of my time managing my baseball team, so the last thing I deserve is grief from the parents.  Shit, you should be thanking me for helping do your job for you.  You don’t like the way I manage my team?  Step up and get your own team.  Otherwise just sit in the stands with the rest of the “unable to volunteer” box checkers and shut the f*ck up.

Not sure if your kid got on the right little league team this year? Here’s a quick quiz for your kid’s manager to see if he/she is doing their job properly:

Question 1: It’s the bottom of the 6th with the bases loaded and two outs in a tie game.  Your worst hitter steps up to the plate.  Do you a) let the kid swing away and risk a game ending strikeout or, b) give him the take sign and hope for a game winning walk?

Answer: Neither - you call a time out and tell him to wear one.

Question 2: A parent approaches you and politely suggests that her son should be playing shortstop instead of right field.  Do you a) put the kid at shortstop or, b) lie and explain that right field is an important position too?

Answer: Neither – you tell her if she dares set foot in your dugout one more time to help little Johnny open up his juice box, he’ll spend the rest of the season on the bench where he deserves.

Question 3: Johnny misplays a fly ball in right field which costs you the game and he bursts into tears.  Do you a) pat him on the back and tell him, “It’s alright – you’ll get the next one” or, b) spend some extra time with him after the game teaching him how to properly catch a fly ball so it won’t happen again?

Answer: Neither – you approach him with a disgusted look on your face and say, “There’s no crying in baseball.”


• If he/she answered (a) to 2 or more of the above: Quit the team immediately – your manager’s a spineless wimp who has no business coaching little league baseball, and is more than likely raising the next Princess Boy.

• If he/she answered (b) to 2 or more of the above: You’re in good hands – your manager’s a solid guy/gal who should be commended for their commitment to youth sports.

• If he/she answered (neither) to 2 or more of the above: Congratulations – your kid’s team is clearly going to win the league championship which is all that really matters.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

As a swim coach and soccer ref for several years, I can absolutely sympathize with this. Actually I would think baseball is worse because parents are busy giving you pro tips on which position they think their kid should play. I would lose my mind.

This is a brave new world of helicopter moms and entitlement mentalities. I can certainly sympathize with league directors who have budgets to meet. So in their mind the best thing for any league is to have the most members possible. But it really brings in the dregs of society and by dregs I mean parents who bitch every five seconds about how their kid isn't getting attention or isn't improving, etc.

I have seen players assault other players in soccer and when the head ref approaches the kid and lightly touches him on the shoulder to counsel him, the mom of course goes ape shit "DONT TOUCH MY SON" and threatens to sue. I have personally dealt with mothers who bitched about their kid SWIMMING IN THE RAIN. The rational mind cries out for salvation and justice from the stupidity of these people, you would be wrong to think it prevails. As is the case with JQ having to censor himself until now. Good post.