As I watched Ted Cruz’s concession speech last week I couldn’t help but think of a line from the movie “Risky Business” (yes, I know I’m dating myself). In the film Tom Cruise plays a character named Joel Goodson, a teenager living in Chicago. Joel is a good kid who’s always tried to do the right thing. Shit goes down however when his parents go out of town and he’s left home alone. Joel inadvertently gets mixed up with a call girl and the situation quickly escalates out of control. As Joel is confronted with multiple dilemmas that he’s simply not equipped to deal with, he adopts a new mantra from his buddy, Miles. That mantra: “Sometimes you just gotta say, what the fuck!” Joel goes through some pretty serious shit throughout the movie, but in the end everything works out okay. Which somehow seems very apropos when looking at the current presidential race.
With Ted Cruz exiting the Republican primary and Bernie Sanders all but eliminated from the Democratic primary, we must accept the sobering reality that our next POTUS will be either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton. Even typing that statement seems surreal. Our next POTUS will be either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton. What the fuck! I must be in the middle of a bad dream, right? It’s like going to a restaurant where there’s only two items on the menu: a turd sandwich and a turd sandwich. Suddenly I’ve lost my appetite. On the one hand you have Hillary Clinton. One could argue there’s never been a candidate more prepared to be president. But she’s also a lying, conniving bitch who epitomizes all that is wrong with politics. On the other hand you have Donald Trump. He’s a very successful businessman who’s not afraid to challenge the status quo. But he’s also a racist, a misogynist, and quite possibly a certifiable sociopath. Unfortunately this is not a nightmare. This is actually happening. What the fuck!
Before you get on your soap box and try to convince me that either candidate is actually good for our country, just know that they are NOT. Because regardless of who wins, we will have never looked worse to the rest of the world. People in China, Japan, Germany, the UK, France, India, and even Canada have got to be scratching their heads and thinking, is that really the best they can do? I’m literally embarrassed to be an American right now. Don’t get me wrong. The United States is still the greatest country in the world and I’m proud to be part of it. One bad election does not erase 240 years of awesome. It is what it is. There’s no sense in feeling sorry for ourselves or complaining about things we cannot change. We simply need to choke down this turd sandwich…
...and pray that a 3rd party candidate enters the race at the 11th hour (Michael Bloomberg I’m looking at you).